He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
