I am puke
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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