He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
