I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
