For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
