Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
