yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
The struggles of a small town man whore
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize