Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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