Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
