hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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