Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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