Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
