He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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