I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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