Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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