Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize