she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
