hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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