Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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