Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
