How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
