I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
vagina is talking i cant
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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