never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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