love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
