pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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