Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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