Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
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Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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