i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
