You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
