Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
