to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
