Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize