we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on