Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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