I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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