Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life