no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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