dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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