Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
