I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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