Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
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let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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