I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
