He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize