Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
