I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
