Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize