look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
