Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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