I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
