im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
