I wanna bring you to show and tell
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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