grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
