they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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