whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
