whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
