If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
