okay pat passed out under dana's car
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
