Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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