Having a random hookup so left but love u
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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