I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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