Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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