You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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