My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
