I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize