if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
