That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My bed smells like the plague
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
